


Is this what love feels like?

by Tarchive



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fortress of Solitude, Green Kryptonite, Kara Danvers Knows Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Supergirl (TV 2015) Season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 09:07:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28348875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarchive/pseuds/Tarchive
Summary: And that’s when Lena Kieran Luthor realized she is in love with Kara Danvers.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen, Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I used the 5x07 scene guys , read at your own risk

Falling in love can be calming and satisfying but also thrilling, scary and excited. Love can feel unknown and vulnerable. But love can also feel safe and comfortable. 

Love is also a deep sense of care and commitment towards another person, that one person who can make you feel like you can handle the whole world , no matter what happens. That person who can make you feel **loved**. 

But. . .

What if we fall in love? What if we fall in love with someone’s smile, someone’s personality, their looks and their jokes, and their abs? Which we definitely aren’t looking at..

But what if we fall in love with a person we lost?

_*Flashback*_

_“Lena? Lena? Lena.. Why do you have Myriad? “_

_“Well, you caught me. I have Myriad because I’m using you like you used me.”_

_“I never used you._ _”_

_“Do you remember when you finally told me you were Supergirl? You were weeping - big crocodile tears. Well, I wept real tears, bitter tears over you weeks before.” Lena said, taking small steps towards Kara._

_“What? I.. I thought.. How long had you known?” The blonde said confused, how was this happening ?_

_“I found out the day I killed my brother”._

_“Lena, you didn’t kill Lex, that was me. I.. I watched him, I saw him fall”._

_“You saw him fall, but did you see him land? Did you see him die? I did, and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.”_

_Kara shook her head. “That’s impossible.”_

_“Anything’s possible when you’re a Luthor.”_

_“Lex used his transmatter portal watch. I knew exactly where he’d go. To the cabin we loved when we were children, so I was there waiting for him. I had the gun ready.. loaded, I could feel the weight of it in my hands. Every fiber in my being rebelled, but I.. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to because if Lex lived, the world wouldn’t be safe, my friends wouldn’t be safe. So, I forced myself to pull the trigger. I shot my own brother in the chest. His final words to me were that I was a fool, that my best friend, that every friend I had was lying to me. With his dying breath, he told me that you were **Supergirl**.”_

_Kara shook her head and walked up to Lena. “ Lena, you have to believe me, I never meant to humiliate you-“_

_“No, When I came to this city, I promised myself that I would never trust anyone again, and then I met you. You chipped away at my armor with your warmth and your earnestness, and you convinced me to trust in people and friendship again, and against my better judgment, I did, all the while telling you about my Achilles heel, betrayal. I confided in you that everyone in my past had betrayed me. About how much it hurt to have someone you love lie to you and betray you. I spelled it out to you over and over again, essentially **begging** you not to violate my trust, **begging** you not to prove that, once again, I was a fool. You reassured me ad nauseam that you would never lie to me, that you’d never hurt me. And all the while, there wasn’t a single honest moment in our friendship.”_

_The blonde teared up. “No! No, that is not true-“_

_“No! I killed my brother for you, for our friends , don’t you understand what you’ve done!?” Lena yelled, finally letting her tears out._

_And then, **silence**. _

_Kara looked at the ground and let out a deep breath.” When you found out, why didn’t you come to me right away, so I could explain-“_

_“Explain? Yeah?”_

_“If you hate me so much, why.. why not out me at the Pulitzer party? Why pretend to still be my friend this long?”_

_“Because I wanted you to experience what you did to me. Feel what I felt.”_

_“I understand your pain and your fury and.. and you’re right. I made a big mistake, maybe the biggest mistake of my life, but please Lena, please don’t leave the Fortress with Myriad. Please don’t let my mistake push you to do something terrible.” Kara said as she walked closer to the exit of the Fortress, hoping she could still save Lena, hoping Lena would put down myriad._

_“You are a good person.”_

_“No! No, you don’t ever get to tell me who or what I am again”_

**_“Intruder! Intruder!”_ **

_Kara looked around, Lena had trapped her..? “Did you reprogram the Fortress defenses to attack me?”_

_Kara could feel the kryptonite slowly get in her veins, feel how the pain got worse every second._

_“Yes. And I rigged it to answer to this little button I have in my hand.” Lena said while holding up the button._

_“Are you going to try to kill me?”_

_“No. Supergirl, I’m not gonna kill you.” Lena said and took Lex his watch out if her pocket._

_“I’m not a villain.”_

_“You shouldn’t have treated me like one.” Lena pressed the button and left through the transmatter portal._

_Leaving Kara **alone** , trapped with kryptonite._

_*End of flashback*_

* * *

It was 12 weeks after Lena left Kara in the fortress.

11 weeks after Lena was almost killed because of Claymore.

8 weeks after the crisis.

5 weeks after Lena gave Kara the book and 5 weeks after Kara called Lena a villain

3 weeks after Lena administered Non Nocere to the volunteer prisoners.

2 weeks after “ you’re a monster, but that doesn’t mean I have to be one too”

And that’s when Lena Kieran Luthor realized she is in love with Kara Danvers.


	2. Chapter 2

Lena was working late on a Thursday night when she realized she was in love with Kara Danvers.

  
She immediately stops typing. Lena looks up from her computer screen for a couple of seconds,realizing what just happened, turns around in her chair and looks at the view.

_Holy shit._

This couldn’t be happening, this shouldn’t be happening, not after everything Kara had done to her, not after her best friend lied to her for years about who she was and where she’s from. Lena is mad at Kara, she hates her, she never wants to see her again, not after what she did. Right?

The Luthor didn’t know what to do , she couldn’t tell someone, if she had even someone to tell. She could tell Sam if she wanted to, but then again, Sam didn’t know that Kara is Supergirl and Lena couldn’t tell her, so she basically had no one to talk to.

Lena didn’t have time for this ,not right now. She had an incredibly important meeting meeting tomorrow that she couldn’t mess up. Come on Lena, focus Lena shakes the thoughts of and finishes her work.

An hour later she makes her way to the elevator, ready to go to her loft and get a glass of scotch. One glass turned into two and two turned into three and three turned into glasses of scotch. Okay me she had a little bit too much.

Lena takes her phone, she has to call someone, someone called Andrea. She would understand her, right? Andrea knew her since boarding school, she had to help her. She opens her contacts and starts looking between the A’s. Aha, found her!

_Pick up, please pick up._

_“ hello?”_ Lena was too drunk to even pay attention to that.

“Hiiii Andrea! It’s so nice to talk to you.” Lena said enthusiastically.

  
_“I-“_

“I totally I need to tell you something , but you can’t tell anyone, I’m serious here “ Lena continues “ so you know Kara Danvers right? I mean obviously, she works for you but that’s not the point here. Remember when you said I’d find love? Well rich story here, I’m in Love with Kara Danvers.” Lena chuckles. “ crazy right? I mean you don’t know but she lied to me about something for years and she definitely did some things behind my back. She even used my relationship with James against me! So well she totally screwed up and I totally hate her.” Lena rambles our. “ but then today I was preparing papers for L – Corp and I realized that I love her? But that’s totally crazy right? I don’t even like her, she lied to me, she’s awful , I can’t he in love with her right?” Lena asks ,impatiently waiting for an answer.

_“.I hate to break it to you but this isn’t Andrea , It’s Alex”_

Lena freezes. Shit. She just told Alex Danvers she’s in love with her sister, she just told Alex how she hates her sister, Lena just said a lot of things, to Alex Danvers.

Their names really look a like , Andrea , Alex. They both start with an A and Lena definitely didn’t mean to call Alex. Is this karma for falling for Kara? Is this her payback for being mad at her?

“ Alex”

Lena says, using her business woman voice.

_“ Luthor”_

Lena hangs up after that, not saying another thing. She immediately feels a lot more sober then she wants to feel, she needed more scotch to actually survive this night. So one glass turned into two again, and then into three glasses of scotch. 

Okay now she definitely regrets all the alcohol and after all those glasses she still remembers. She still remembers how she’s hopelessly in love with the one and only Kara Danvers.


	3. Chapter 3

Lena opened her eyes when her alarm went off. She groans and shuts it off. She immediately hid her face in a pillow because of the sun, of course she forgot to close the curtains last night. At that moment Lena realizes why she never gets drunk on a weekday. But yesterday she did and she remembers everything of it. **Everything**

But who cares right? It’s not like Lena has to see the Danvers sisters again. Or at Least that’s what she thought.   
  


Lena stretches and gets up, walking over to the bathroom. At least she doesn’t look as bad as she feels at the moment. The brunette sighs while taking her tooth brush. Today was going to be a long, long day. After brushing her teeth Lena put some make up on and got dressed. 

_’At least I look good in my suit.’_

Lena shakes her head before heading over to the kitchen. She got herself a kale smoothie before walking out to the elevator. She gets in the elevator, all the way up to her office. She has a lot of meetings planned for today, like really a lot. Lena finished her smoothie and got out of the elevator.

“ Jess , could you cancel my 1PM and 2PM meeting?” Lena asks and walks into her office. Those people weren’t so important for L-Corp anyway. 

she sits down on her chair and sighs, turning to look at the view. She still couldn’t believe that she actually called Alex, Alex Danvers, and told her that she’s in love with her sister, Kara. She’s supposed to be mad at Kara, she hates her, she never wants to see her again, ever. Lena can’t forgive her, she can’t accept her feelings. Not after what Kara, or rather supergirl did to her.

* * *

“ Thank you mrs Mitchell”

Lena sighs as the door finally closes. She looks down at her watch, 12 PM. It was finally lunch time and then she still had 7 long hours to go before she could go home and rest.   
  


she got herself a salad and sat down on her couch. She looks at her salads and starts eating. That’s how her days always go. She wakes up, drinks a smoothie, works, eats a salad, works even more and then she goes home. It all used to be different, Lena woke up with a text of Kara, making sure wouldn’t forgot that they were going to meet up, she goes to work, works for a couple of hours, has lunch with her best friend, laughs and talks about stupid things. Then they’re was work again and then she went home, after Kara had called her and told her she couldn’t work late again 

lena shakes her head and continues eating. And there went her mind again, to Kara Danvers. Lena hates it how the blonde crosses her mind again. Kara has lied to her for years, all the things Supergirl did behind her back, used her personal relationships against her.   
  


30 minutes later Lena was behind her desk again, working on her new project, when she hears a knock on the door.

Lena sighs. “ Jess I told you to cancel my next two meetings”

the door opened. “ good , more time for us to talk then.”  
  
 **Alex Danvers**

Lena clears her throat and gets up. “ Mrs Danvers , I don’t think you have an appointment, or do you?” Lena asks and crosses her arms.

” Didn’t you just cancel your meeting anyway. “ Alex said.   
  
Lena raised her eyebrow. As if Lena wasn’t already freaking out because of the woman in front of her. Lena could die at the moment, she told Alex how she feels about Kara, and now Alex was standing in front of her, after not seeing her for weeks.

“ If I knew you’d come I would have.” Lena says and sits down , keeping her business face up.

Alex walked closer.

“ we need to talk.” 


End file.
